Difficulty: Explorer (Level 1)
It’s great that you still want to join others on group projects even though you feel shy. This shows that you’re looking for chances to step out of your comfort zone!
When you’re feeling too nervous to ask, this might be your brain trying to protect you from rejection. Afterwards, the embarrassment might make you feel even more nervous next time. However, these are completely normal reactions to have when you’re feeling shy. Here are some tips.
Start with small actions
You can start with tiny steps. Try giving a small compliment like, “I really like your presentation!” or “Your idea in class was great.” These are easier to say and often make the other person smile. It could even spark a conversation.
Practise what you want to say
Stand in front of a mirror and say, “Hi, can I join your group for the project?” a few times. The more you rehearse, the easier it becomes in real life.
Try some breathing exercises
Do a few rounds of breathing exercises before or after the nervous moment. Breathe in slowly for four seconds, hold it for four and breathe out for another four. This exercise tells your body, “I’m OK; everything is OK. I just want to do this one thing. I can relax now.”
Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Even if a conversation does not go perfectly, you’re growing braver by trying.
This question was answered by James Pho, a counsellor at Your Relationship Clinic.
