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Yating Yang

A unique wedding ritual among China’s Bao’an ethnic group known as “flogging the father-in-law” sees the family of the groom symbolically whip the bride’s father 20 times.
As he endures his “punishment”, the bride’s father kneels to apologise for “failing to properly discipline his daughter”.
The Bao’an ethnic group primarily lives in Gansu province in northwestern China and has a population of around 24,000. They practise Islam and speak Banan, which belongs to the Altaic language family.

They observe several traditional Muslim festivals and their marriage customs, which are rooted in Islamic beliefs and predominantly follow monogamy.
Before the establishment of the People’s Republic of China, the traditional marriage age was 17 for males and 15 for females, with wedding procedures and important dates typically based on the Islamic calendar.
A typical Bao’an wedding involves four main stages: matchmaking, engagement confirmation, bride price delivery and the wedding ceremony.

For instance, when the groom’s family proposes marriage, they present a gift called songdingcha, which literally means “betrothal tea”, which includes rock sugar, dried longan, tea leaves and walnuts, all wrapped in four different-coloured papers.
If the bride’s family accepts the gift, it means the two families have reached a formal agreement.
A traditional Bao’an ethnic wedding ceremony lasts for three days.

One of the most distinctive customs is the “flogging the father-in-law” ritual, primarily observed in the Bao’an communities of Jishishan county, Gansu province, north-central China.
On the wedding day, several young women from the bride’s family accompany the groom to his home and playfully smear soot from a cooking pot onto the groom’s father’s face. This symbolises heartfelt congratulations.
Meanwhile, the groom’s father is invited to the bride’s home and seated in the courtyard.
The bride’s father then comes out to greet him, not only offering pleasantries but also formally apologising for “failing to raise and discipline his daughter properly”.
This is seen as a way of showing modesty, not literally suggesting that their daughters are undisciplined or badly behaved.
To show sincerity, the bride’s father kneels before the groom’s father, expressing his willingness to accept punishment.

The groom’s father then picks up a whip that has been placed on a table in advance and pretends to whip him heavily 20 times before returning home.
This symbolic and theatrical exchange marks the end of the ceremony.
After the bride arrives at the groom’s home, guests are seated for the wedding banquet, but the bride is notably absent.
According to tradition, she must refrain from eating any food prepared by the groom’s family for the first three days. Instead, she eats only meals brought from her own home.
This custom serves as a symbolic gesture of gratitude for her parents’ love and upbringing.


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China Bao’an ethnic group’s ritual playfully whips bride’s dad for not disciplining daughter

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Ritual ‘punishment’ carried out as woman’s father kneels in courtyard of groom’s family; 3-day wedding also involves soot smearing custom


Ritual ‘punishment’ carried out as woman’s father kneels in courtyard of groom’s family; 3-day wedding also involves soot smearing custom.


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China Bao’an ethnic group’s ritual playfully whips bride’s dad for not disciplining daughter

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Ritual ‘punishment’ carried out as woman’s father kneels in courtyard of groom’s family; 3-day wedding also involves soot smearing custom

Ritual ‘punishment’ carried out as woman’s father kneels in courtyard of groom’s family; 3-day wedding also involves soot smearing custom