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Tara Loader Wilkinson

Has anyone ever told you to “stop being so sensitive” or to “toughen up”?
If you are regularly accused of being too sensitive, you may be a highly sensitive person (HSP), among an estimated 15 to 30 per cent of the global population.
“I was told my entire life I was oversensitive, or being overdramatic,” says Catherine Asta, an author, psychotherapist, and founder and host of The Late Discovered Club, a podcast that gives voice to autistic women.
Asta is autistic, something that was identified late in her life. “Over time, you learn to mask to protect yourself in all the spaces, faces and places that make it feel unsafe to be you.”
It was not until she was in her thirties, after a period of repeated burnout, that Asta realised she had to change her lifestyle and the way she worked. Based in the United Kingdom, she trained to become a psychotherapist and is now writing her second book.

Her story, she saw, was not uncommon. Now she works with people – some in their seventies and eighties – who have felt “differently wired” all their lives without knowing why.
“As our understanding has grown, suddenly so much falls into place,” she says.
American clinical research psychologist Elaine Aron coined the term HSP in the 1990s. It refers to someone with a deep sensitivity to physical, emotional and social situations – also called sensory-processing sensitivity (SPS) – and a heightened awareness of environmental stimuli.
Aron describes this in her first book, The Highly Sensitive Person. Her research was also the subject of the 2020 documentary Sensitive: The Untold Story, featuring Canadian-American singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette.
HSPs may, for example, find big, noisy crowds and bright lights overwhelming; tend to be more bothered by violence or chaos; and pick up on feelings or nuances more than others in people’s voices and facial expressions.
They may be more empathetic, but also more prone to overstimulation.


They may notice subtle changes in the weather and seasons, be unable to abide the physical sensation of coarse fabrics, or be soothed by smooth ones. They may be more prone to anxiety and harbour an intense inner critic.
Physical and biological traits may be more common in them, too, such as food sensitivities, gluten or lactose intolerance, allergies, and epilepsy.
People who are HSPs or neurodivergent – that is, whose brains work differently from what is considered typical – may have particularly vivid dreams. Some believe that these dreams can offer prophetic glimpses.
Asta is one. She recalls waking up from an “incredibly vivid dream” in 2023.
“I dreamed I had a lump in my breast, and there it was. Three weeks later, it was confirmed as an aggressive breast cancer that had spread to my lymph nodes.”
Medical professionals repeatedly dismissed her dream, she says.
“But if I hadn’t had that dream, I might not be here today. My depth of attunement and sensitivity saved my life,” she says. She is now in remission.

A post on Instagram says she had six cycles of chemo, six months of steroids and bone marrow injections, 17 lymph nodes removed, a lumpectomy, 10 rounds of radiotherapy, six cycles of targeted treatment, and two nuclear heart scans.
She lost all her hair, went into menopause as soon as chemotherapy began, developed chemo-induced peripheral neuropathy – nerve damage – in her hands and feet, had every possible side effect of chemo, including fatigue and fibromyalgia – widespread chronic pain – and loss of nails, including toenails.
HSP is a neurodivergence, not a mental disorder, and it can be a gift, often manifesting in detail-orientation, enormous creativity and a yearning for deep connections.
Often, HSPs want to do the highest good, but without self-regulation, they can get stuck.
Famous HSPs, anecdotally, include ape researcher Jane Goodall, Princess Diana, musician Elton John, architect Frank Lloyd Wright, actress Glenn Close and civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr.

HSP cannot be “diagnosed” other than by pinpointing character traits, for example through an online quiz from Surrey University-based psychologist Michael Pluess.
Pluess also co-published research with Jay Belsky that suggests about 30 per cent of the population are highly sensitive, another 30 per cent are low in sensitivity and the remaining 40 per cent are somewhere in between. He called these groups “orchids”, “dandelions” and “tulips”, respectively.
The two also talk about the idea of “vantage sensitivity”, which highlights how HSPs are more influenced by both negative and positive environmental exposures.
It is linked to the question of whether sensitivity is genetic or environmentally conditioned.
“According to our large twin study, genetic and environmental factors contribute equally to sensitivity,” Pluess says. “This means about 50 per cent of differences in sensitivity between people are due to genetic factors, but the environment – people’s experiences – also contributes to sensitivity … both negative and positive experiences can promote the development of sensitivity.”
This suggests that as we learn more, and the support network grows, HSPs stand to benefit from finally feeling “heard”.

Events and retreats aimed at HSP are proliferating. The Highly Sensitive Human Academy is a UK-based platform that offers a three-month online training programme to become a certified HSP coach. Its next coaching course begins in September.
“Highly sensitive people often feel misunderstood and can struggle with stress, anxiety and overwhelm,” says academy co-founder Jules de Vitto, who also hosts a podcast called the Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast. “However, HSPs are also gifted with a range of skills. They respond extremely well to positive interventions and this enables them to thrive with the right resources in place.”
Speaking as a guest on the podcast recently, German entrepreneur Robert Siegers said that, although he did not know it, being an HSP influenced his entrepreneurial career path.
“As a child, I had physical symptoms from [being an] HSP, such as headaches and pain in my gut. After university, I went straight into being self-employed. While I didn’t realise it at the time, I needed a career where I could have control over my stimuli, and who I work with and when.
“In 2021, I had a severe mental breakdown in a relationship. I read The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, and I realised she was describing me.”

Common career paths for HSPs are the medical and healing professions and creative roles. There is also a tendency towards freelancing or working alone.
This autumn, Asta is co-hosting a retreat for HSPs in Broughton Sanctuary, a 16th-century home turned wellness facility, in Yorkshire, England.
Her co-host is psychologist Kirsty Allan, a PhD candidate, HSP coach and teacher whose research focuses on restricted environmental sensory techniques, or Rest.
The five-day event will run from October 10 to 14. It aims to help HSPs learn to thrive and embrace their qualities as tools for leadership, healing and meaningful social change.
It will also give them simple tools to use in overwhelming situations, such as closing their eyes for a moment for a sensory “reset”.

“Labels such as HSP can be helpful for those seeking to understand that there is meaningfulness to their experience,” says Allan, who also identifies as an HSP.
“The people we meet are often feeling at their wits’ end, as their whole lives they’ve been told unhelpful messages such as ‘you are too sensitive, you need to toughen up’, which makes them feel fundamentally flawed.
“What we want to show them, by helping them feel held and supported, is that you can honour and leverage those innate capacities as strengths, and that this uncovers an innate, natural and very real kind of sensitive magic – that HSP are the natural sages, healers, shamans of their communities.”
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Health & Wellness

Health

HSPs have a deep sensitivity to physical, emotional or social situations. Famous HSPs, anecdotally, include Princess Diana and Elton John


HSPs have a deep sensitivity to physical, emotional or social situations. Famous HSPs, anecdotally, include Princess Diana and Elton John.


Mental health

Are you a highly sensitive person? How you can tell and why it can be a gift

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}HSPs have a deep sensitivity to physical, emotional or social situations. Famous HSPs, anecdotally, include Princess Diana and Elton John

HSPs have a deep sensitivity to physical, emotional or social situations. Famous HSPs, anecdotally, include Princess Diana and Elton John